Lame Duccy

Words: ALEX HORNE
July 7, 2013

Duccy is the new single from Julio Bashmore and…it’s terrible. It has the personality of a ventriloquist dummy, the originality of a Topman GEEK t-shirt and the subtlety of a cunt-punch. It sounds like Morrissons commissioned a toddler to compose a “hip track” for the vegetable aisle using only Fruityloops 1.0.0. Duccy is so jaw […]


Duccy is the new single from Julio Bashmore and…it’s terrible. It has the personality of a ventriloquist dummy, the originality of a Topman GEEK t-shirt and the subtlety of a cunt-punch. It sounds like Morrissons commissioned a toddler to compose a “hip track” for the vegetable aisle using only Fruityloops 1.0.0.

Duccy is so jaw droppingly poor that the idea that it is a joke uploaded to fuck with fans is being seriously considered on several blogs. Whilst this would be a commendable act of meta-criticism it would also be deeply alienating to those who consider his latest tune to be, as one breathless Soundcloud critic has described it, a piece of ‘steamy refrained minimal tech’.

I don’t believe that Duccy is an act of trolling but it’s not for me to decide. What it does do, however, is provide an opportunity for me to postulate on the ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’ situation currently faced by lovers of dance music (whatever that epithet means).

I can’t be the only person who, in a rare moment of lucidity, has stood back during a big time DJ’s set and thought; ‘hold on a minute…this is total pants’. Admittedly these moments are brief and it usually only takes a swig of beer before I’ve returned to throwing highly dubious shapes again. After all, I’m out to enjoy myself rather than stroke my non-existent beard and critique a DJ who couldn’t give less of a shit about my opinion.

This unique relationship between those on the dance floor and those making them dance gives producers of electronic music more leeway in terms of quality than in other genres. Lord help you if you fuck up the beat matching mid-set but if you throw in a few generic house tunes the gurning masses aren’t going to bat a sweaty eyelid.

As several people on the Soundcloud page point out ‘we need set fillers too’ and ‘you’d all be wildin’ out to this if you heard it on Funktion Ones in a good room.’ The startling fact is that I can’t really argue with this logic. If someone dropped Duccy in a set I wouldn’t storm out in disgust, I might even nod my head. The big question is: should the fact that our capacity for discernment dwindles when we’re in the moment absolve an artist as respected as Julio of accountability?

The real head-fuck is that it’s precisely because of Bashmore’s respectability that he can produce a tune that is simultaneously hailed by some fans as being ‘SICK ASS FUCK’ and leaves others earnestly questioning whether it is a joke. In the current online environment hype and being up-to-date trump quality and skill almost every time. There is no readily available solution to this well documented and well established phenomenon in modern music consumption but pointing out the nakedness of Emperors like Bashmore might be a good start. If Bashmore chooses to do that himself by trolling his fans then more power to him.




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